Violet

Violet
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Violet after the divorce, wanting for newness. Deciding to leave England, to go somewhere else. To go to Mexico, Honduras, and Nicaragua. Violet in an aeroplane on her own. Violet walking on the smooth floors of the airport.
Violet as expat, migrant. Moving to Granada, Nicaragua, learning Spanish properly this time.
Violet taking lovers, taking walks, taking painting-classes, taking another shot at life, and then another. Violet becoming freckled. Her hair greying. Violet taking a long hard look at herself. Violet liking herself.
Violet visiting Masaya Volcano National Park. Violet loving that place. Seeing the lava. Laughing on the bus down, even past the chicken factory stink. Violet’s big teeth catching the sunlight when she laughed. Violet meeting somebody called Sofia, speaking with her. Violet and Sofia taking walks together, taking tea together, crying together, cooking for each other.
Violet and Sofia drinking Maracuja juice on their balconies. Violet and Sofia making love, sometimes. Sofia dancing to the BeeGees and Violet snorting hot tea, laughing. Sofia dancing more when Violet smiled, and then even more when Violet was quiet. Violet reading the news. Violet trying to understand. Sofia and Violet talking about Ortega.
Violet beginning to feel very tired. Violet trying to read long books. Violet not reading, and not going outdoors very much at all. The sun slipping through the sides of Violet’s blinds, lighting her living room through curtains. Violet emailing her family with silly pictures, jokes from the internet, anything to say hello.
Violet feeling very tired, one day. Opening her curtains, and looking out at green.
Violet not opening her curtains the next day. The last day. Violet feeling very slow and very tired. Violet lying on the floor, tired and in pain and watching a lizard climb the wall the whole afternoon, it felt like. The lizard flickering. Violet dying on the cool floor, in the afternoon, with light coming in through the closed yellow curtains. Violet found, hours later.
Violet dead.
Violet as email login, as lost password book, address book, phone call. Violet mourned. Violet laid out on a strange bed. Violet in an urn on Sofia’s lap on the bus. In Sofia’s hands, against her body as she walked. Violet in the green of the National Park. Violet in Sofia’s palm on the slope of the volcano. Violet as smoke on the breeze. Ash. Violet as empty urn. Taken home. Violet as volcanic glass, strands, strung across the landscape, like fair hair.

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